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HORROR-SCOPES                           Aries (March21-April19) Keep out                           of areas where you don't belong, or                           you may end up breaking some-                           thing valuable. Unless you have a                           credible alibi, the authorities will                            come down hard on you!!! Taurus (April20-May20) Show your interest and good will. You have something to offer that, surprisingly, no one else has offered yet. Be pleasant, but don’t let others walk all over you. Gemini (May 21-June21) You're too smart to waste your time. Seek help from someone who understands what’s going on. Cancer (June22-July22) Someone close to you is both soothing and confusing. But you're not helpless. You still have a few old tricks in your bag to surprise them. Go get’ em Cancer! Leo (July 23-Aug22) Boredom threatens you, but you like mystery, so even if nothing will change, try anyway. You won’t be sorry! Virgo (Aug23-Sept22) You’d make a happy slave this month. Your work keeps you smiling and cleverness follows you everywhere. Libra (Sept23-Oct22) Looking for something that keeps disappearing just as you reach for it? Maybe it’s time to relax and let it come to you? Scorpio (Oct23-Nov21) No cheap deals for you this month, Scorpio. Everyone wins when you use those fantastic diplomatic skills of yours! Sagittarius (Nov22-Dec21) The solution you proposed wasn’t right for everyone. But don’t worry. Working together will smooth out the bumps! Capricorn (Dec22-Jan19) Go Capricorn! Health, finances and principles are in sound shape. You have the stamina to last forever – well at the moment anyway. Hehehe. Honor a lost loved-one who helped you be here today. Aquarius(Jan20-Feb18) Sit down and rest! You’ve worked hard and your associates will catch up with demands, but you need to be ready to work again. Pisces(Feb19-March20)  Uh-oh, you could be out of the loop. Ask how everything works, but try grasping for the essence of things instead of just clocking up your hours. CLUB JARGON BUSTERS Here are this month's weird words from the world of spies, private investigation, military surveillance and criminal justice. These are sent to us by club member Sarajayne K, Adelaide, SA. Thanks Sarajayne!  If you have a weird word you'd like to share, then email the us HERE and we'll spread the word - or explain it for you: Astrolabe: (pronounced ASS-tro-LAYb) It's a tool for measuring angles and distances to find out the heights of buildings, trees and other tall things during an investigation without having to ask your partner to jump off the top of them with a measuring tape. Forward Observation Post (Also known as an F.O.P.)  It's a safely hidden place - usually behind or near enemy lines or a place of criminal activity - where advance surveillance specialists can make observations. Ghillie Suit: (pronounced Gill-ee) An amazingly realistic camouflage suit made of twigs, leaves and other natural materials. We all busted our guts laughing when we saw our first ad for a ghillie suit. But mannn, they're hot if you're a spy, private investigator or military patrol person needing to disappear into the wilderness. Here's a picture from that ad which has the caption "A good man is hard to find!" hehehe:  Monocular: (pronounced mon-ocular)... works exactly the same principal as binoculars, except it's only for one eye so it's smaller and can be stashed in your pocket easier.  Reconnaissance: (pronounced re-CON-a-sance... remember two n's followed by 2 s's when you're spelling it, with "ai" as in artificial intelligence exactly in the middle) It's the act of exploring an unfamiliar or dangerous place in order to secure it for your "team" or find out information that you need before attacking or allowing the rest of your friends or team-mates to pass through. Short nickname is either Recce (pronounced RECK) or recon (pronounced re-CONN). For example, you might recon the science labs for teachers before ducking back in to get that pencil case you accidentally left behind.   CLUB SECRET Shhhh... don't tell anyone, but Vivianbiancalee LePsychopath isn't as crazy as she seems. The reason she looks like she's singing and talking to herself is because her father is a spy and gave her a micro implant in her ear so he could talk to her any time he needs to while she's at boarding school in Australia. LePsycho also uses her implant to listen to her favourite radio stations back home. It's a special insiders-only club secret though. Anyone else reading the series has to wait another two books to find out!

HOLY COW!!!!        THESE CROOKS R DUMB!  In Newmarket, near Cambridge in eastern England, a woman was fined recently for enrolling two of her cows to vote in local elections! In Czechoslovakia, a woman slept beside her dead husband for nearly 2 years because she couldn't live without him. Czech police said the 67-year-old widow told friends and family he was "bed-ridden". However failing to report a death is a crime. In Kuala Lumpur, a gang of car thieves led by twin brothers were nabbed by police recently for stealing $4.5 million dollars worth of luxury-cars. Weird part is that police also discovered receipts worth thousands of ringgit (dollars) for their generous donations to orphanages and other charities. The 25-year-olds were robbing the rich and giving at least some of the proceeds to the poor! Dutch police say a 45 year old burglar was caught frying a fish, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer in the house he was robbing recently,  after the smell of his cooking woke the woman who was asleep in her attic bedroom!   "He'd loaded his bag out of her fridge," said the police spokesperson. "But had not stolen anything else. His only motive was food!" A thief in NSW stole a ute-load full of vegetables at a Lismore pumpkin  competition in March. Local grower Earl Knight  says the vegetables were stolen from the produce display at a shopping complex - everything except the largest pumpkins, which weighed over 200 kilograms and were too big for the thief to steal! CLUB SCAM WATCH Did you know that some "professionals" can be just as good at ripping us off as the criminals? For example private investigators can access a Master Death file for as little as fifty cents, (depending on which country the citizen is from) if you need to find out why somebody disappeared without paying you. One of the first things they can do is check the relevant Master Death file for that country to find out if your missing person is confirmed dead yet or not. So beware of private investigators who charge $250 for the service - and don't bother getting back to you for a few days with news of the death, because they didn't want you to think it was so easy! CLUB MONEY Here's this month's inside info and tips for club personal finance and the 50 fun rules for success in life and business: Focus on Personal $$$: In Tagged by Dead Dogs, Kirby is driven to earn money by her goal to move home to her father's farm where she can ride her horse, Fidget, every day, instead of having to board at a school in the city, where she's having trouble making friends and fitting in. Her cousin Scott on the other hand has a small regular income working at the local cafe after school which helps him to afford repairs and fuel for a motorbike that he built himself. But his problem is having to put up with motor-mouth Janet Slaney who's younger than him but gets to be his boss whenever the owner has to go to the bank.     Goal Hint: Doesn't matter if you have money or not to start with, what matters is setting a goal & taking steps to achieve it.   Focus on Business: In Hunt the Hunters, Kirby learns the hard way that friends can be just as treacherous and deceitful as the people who are openly out to get you. In many ways, it hurts more to be deceived or tricked by a friend or relative. So have fun, be honest and treat your friends and business partners in the same way you would like them to treat you. But the next time you have to mix pleasure with business, it may pay you to remember:  Rule 1 of Success: Protect your Assets. Enemies can be Anywhere.

Next month we'll have club word puzzles here as well! ... Kirby and the gang pay $20 for every crime theme word puzzle that gets published in Crusader Club News!!!

And now for a word from our CELEBRITY GUEST AUTHOR!!!!!!!!: Susanne Gervay! YAYYYY!!!!!!   Author of: I am Jack, Super Jack, Next Stop the Moon, The Cave, Butterflies, Jamie's a hero & Shadows of Olive Trees   Okay, Susanne... Crusader Interrogation Time: What's the inside info about your life and books?  I live with two great kids, their Nanna, Rob their step-dad and Floppy the stuffed flat dog. I write because my family are funny, quirky and we have lots of things to get through together. Can you believe that my Jack was bullied at school? It was horrible but Jack WON.  There have been other dramas too - I shrunk the clothes. Everyone was mean to me about that. I couldn't help it. There were a few fights when Rob's son came with us to Queensland on a family holiday, but it all worked out in the end. There is so much stuff going on in my family that you'll have to read my JACK books to find out what happens. (PS I write Young Adult books too, but they are tougher.) Why do you love to write? My Jack books are about my family. (Well, you know that already.) Jack is my fantastic son who is an inventor, mess-maker and a great kid. All the people in my books are real and I'm inviting you into my home and my family. By the way, I hope you like the MUM. She's ME of course. Oops, Jack wants to say something.  JACK SPEAKING:-  "I have a great family, but they drive me crazy sometimes. There’s my Nanna who is obsessed with buying bargains especially underpants. How many underpants does a kid really need? There’s my sort-of-step-Dad who is the best dish washer in the whole world. He doesn’t get it. I don’t really care if plates sparkle. There’s my sister who is in love with dogs, especially Floppy who is big and flat and stuffed. Sometimes I think something is wrong with my sister. There’s Mum who does star jumps. I wish she wouldn’t do them, especially in public. There’s Anna who is … well, she’s nice  And ME. Jack. I’m twelve and a scientist. You should see my fantastic fungus. We’re going on this terrific holiday up north. Beaches and theme parks. Well, it is great, except for LEO. (He’s my sort-of-step Dad’s son). Shudder. I don’t know why he’s coming." SUSANNE'S SECRET WRITING TIP:- Write about what you think is funny and be honest. If you do that, then kids who read your writing will trust you and have fun as well.

And for Crusaders who love cheeky jokes, here's one of Kirby's favourites (which is also a world favourite!) from "I Am Jack": Once upon a time, there was a little red man, who lived on a little red street, in a little red house.  One morning this little red man woke up and looked out of his little red window at the little red sun.  He thought it was a glorious little red morning. So he jumped out of his little red bed and skipped down his little red hallway into his little red bathroom. He threw off all his little red clothes and turned on his little red shower. While he was splashing around in his little red shower, he heard a bang on the door. He quickly turned off the little red shower, put on a little red towel, ran down his little red hallway, opened his little red front door and saw there was a little red newspaper stuck in his little red rose bush. He bent over to pull it out. As he bent down his little red towel fell off. The lady sitting at the bus stop who had been watching the whole thing, jumped up and ran across the other side of the road and was immediately hit by a passing truck. The moral of the story is:- Don’t cross the road while the little red man is flashing. It is RUDE, but it's funny, isn't it?   P.S. You can write to Susanne Gervay on her website, which is www.users.bigpond.com/gervays   You can click on the link and say hi to her now, if you want!     That's it for this month!   Stay tuned for the next edition of CRUSADER CLUB NEWS...   Celebrity guest author will be  DEBORAH ABELA!!!! famous author of: Max Remy, Super Spy !!!! (the series)

UNTIL NEXT MONTH GANG... KEEP CRUSADING!!!!!!!!!!

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